Anal sex. It’s the sex act that some people can’t get enough of or can make people run in the opposite direction. It has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation and is one of the few sex acts that everyone is capable of being on the receiving “end” of. Oftentimes, people experience pain and discomfort during anal penetration and that has to do with the lack of the three must-haves for pleasurable anal penetration: Relaxation, Communication, and most of all, Lubrication. Let’s look at each one of them in more detail.
Relaxation is key in order to open up and allow for penetration. Guess what? The anatomy of EVERYONE’S sphincter muscles is the same! The sphincter is made of rings of muscles beginning with the outer ring that one can see when given the opportunity. It has a brownish tinge to it surrounding the pucker of skin that is the anus. The inner sphincter is somewhat visible by gently pushing out as if starting a bowel movement and will have a much brighter, soft pink tone to it. The goal is to relax these normally tight muscles to allow for penetration by fingers, toys, or a penis.
Communication is key in order to have one’s partner not force themselves into an unrelaxed anus. This is what can contribute to having a painful, instead of pleasurable, experience. Communication is about letting them know to ease up, slow down, or continue because the sphincter muscles are relaxed enough to accept what is being put inside. Oftentimes, when the receiver is the one controlling the pace of insertion, they will be aware of how relaxed their sphincter muscles are and can let their partner know when to proceed.
Last, but certainly not least, Lubrication is key in keeping things slippery and sliding enough not to cause excessive friction and tearing the delicate anal tissue. Yes, the interior of the rectum is thinner skin than one might think and using PLENTY of lube is always mandatory. There is no naturally occurring lubrication in the anus and rectum so using plenty of lube will always contribute to a more pleasurable anal experience. First apply lubrication to the outside of the anus, then begin to gently push it in which will also relax the anus as well. Continue to apply lube generously, before and especially during, penetration.
Speaking of lube, we are especially proud of our latest product, BackSlide, which is made specifically for anal penetration. We have spent the past two years developing this lube in order to get it to the right consistency and have the perfect ingredients. Wonderfully thick BackSlide won’t slide off fingers, toys or penises and is silicone based so not as much as is needed vs. a water based lube (silicone contains no water and therefore doesn’t evaporate and or sticky). BackSlide contains clove extract which helps to naturally and gently desensitize the anal area. Another unique ingredient in BackSlide is spilanthes extract, an herb native to Brazil, which is a natural muscle relaxant that gently works while using BackSlide.
So remember the three must-haves for pleasurable anal penetration and use plenty of lube! And have a good time while you’re at it….