Okay, so one day, or night, when you’re thinking or talking and say “I wanna have sex with you,” what do you REALLY want?
Let me count the ways: Some people think that only vaginal intercourse counts as sex as in penis-in-vagina contact. For others, sex is penis-in-anus penetration. It can also be sex by doing the ins and outs with a sex toy. Sex can be external: genital rubbing either on thighs (thigh humping, of course!) or other parts of the body all of which is also known as the big word – tribadism (“But Mom! Dad! I was only practicing tribadism!”). And we can’t forget the ever-popular oral/genital contact for all sexual preferences which for lots of people, is their only choice for sex. Last but not least (and I am sure not LAST), good ol’ mano a mano masturbation because your hands never say no.
So take a moment to decide what it means to “have sex.” To me, it’s the time, the place, the thoughts, the lust, the drive, the play, the pleasure, to the … well, “don’t stop now” kinda sex. If you wonder what your partner’s definitions of sex and boundaries are, have a chat with them NOT WHILE YOU’RE HAVING SEX! Make the time to talk about it honestly or better yet, breathlessly recap your desires with them so when the time comes, so will you….